Zakk Wylde. Oy vey!
It’s Controversy Friday, everyone! Soon to be a national holiday (with paid days off, BBQ’s, and lots of bikini-clad women). Every once in a while ya gotta stir the pot a little and make sure all of the spicy ingredients that add some kick to the recipe don’t just sit at the bottom. They need to be mixed in real well to add flavor to the entire recipe.
Well, today I decided to stir the pot a little. Mostly just to provide a little tongue-and-cheek relief. But, also, because I feel that in order to have a successful blog – which I certainly hope to have someday – sometimes you have to hit below the belt, throw sand in the eyes, and talk about someone’s momma. I absolutely love talking about motivation and some of the more technical aspects of music that don’t get covered very often, not to mention steering clear of the trash-talking we guitar players love to do, but the little dude with the pitchfork sitting on my other shoulder and whispering in my ear is getting a bit impatient.
Since I’ve never been good at momma jokes I decided to talk about the next best thing: guitar heroes that I just don’t like; people who are ridiculously famous and I just don’t understand why people think they are great players.
And so, in the spirit of some lighthearted Friday entertainment, I give you a short list of guitar heroes I just don’t “get.”
Zakk Wylde
I’m not giving out trophies, but first place definitely goes to Jersey boy Zakk Wylde. The ex-Ozzy, current Black Label Society guitarist has been hailed as a guitar god for over a decade now, but for the life of me I don’t know why. I’ll give him a little credit, he occasionally does write some pretty good guitar riffs, but his overall approach to soloing and tone is just awful. The typical pentatonic bullshit “shredding” (if you can even call it that) just makes me nauseous. I don’t know if it’s the whole rock-n-roll attitude that turns people on, but the whole beer-swilling, badass biker image screams of 17-year old wannabe angst. (And let’s not forget that the dude’s stage name is friggin’ “Zakk Wylde.” I mean, seriously?)
Jack White
Jack White
The White Stripes were a very crappy band that, for some inexplicable reason, became very successful. Moreover, in the last few months he has been on the cover of guitar magazines and is even featured on “It Might Get Loud,” a DVD project with White, Jimmy Page, and The Edge, where the advertising makes him out to be a “guitar god.”
Um… what? A guitar god? I can’t think of one person I’ve ever met that has been even remotely inspired by Jack White’s guitar playing. I understand that magazines and marketing companies need to hype the product for sales, but give me a break!
Sorry, folks, I just don’t see it. Jack White has done absolutely nothing to advance the guitar.
Omar Rodriguez-Lopez
The Mars Volta's Omar Rodriguez-Lopez
The Mars Volta. Regarded as one of the best progressive rock bands out there. Omar Rodriguez-Lopez, regarded as one of the most forward-thinking and progressive guitarists out there.
What?
Slap a crapload of effects on your signal, play noise for 33 minutes straight and call it a song. Talk a whole lot about gear and how picky you are so everyone thinks you are a highly-sophisticated gear junkie.
Ugh. Another guy I just don’t get.
Someone will have to explain why he and The Mars Volta are so popular, and why Rodriguez-Lopez is considered so innovative. Anyone can add a bunch of effects to their playing…
Don’t Get Crazy Now
As I said in the beginning, this is mostly tongue-and-cheek. It’s not meant to insult anyone personally or their tastes in music. These are some guys I just can’t wrap my head around. Your mileage may vary. My mileage says that I simply can’t fathom why they are considered guitar heroes. Maybe you all can help me out and shed some light on the situation.
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Ah, how could you Josh. Just when I was starting to like you!
Zakk, I do have to admit I love his style. It’s instantly recognisable as being him and I think that’s such a key thing these days. If you have a unique sound you’re going to stand out from the crowd, and that’s something Zakk does…very well. I watched Ozzy live on some chat show last week with Gus G, and while I think the new album is great, they were completely lacklustre live. Zakk brought presence in spades.
Jack White. Not really familiar with him too much. He certainly seems a slice above your average guitar player though and has much more mainstream appeal than the other 2.
Omar Rodriguez Blachez. I dislike him. I bought his signature guitar and it’s the worst made piece of crap I ever owned. The guitar ruined my planet waves cable that I’ve had for 10 years. I’ve been trying to sell the guitar on eBay for 2 months now. On the basis that he put his name on that guitar I am casting him out of the hall of fame
But yeah, I would tend to agree with you, noise + FX != guitar hero.
Neal recently posted: Newbie Series Part3 – Beginner Acoustic Guitars
Zakk Wylde is a great stage name! It has style and panache.
His work on the first 3 albums he did with Ozzy was great.. it was breathtakingly original, extremely memorable and exactly the sort of move that Ozzy needed.
Afterwards he became a sad parody of himself, and his soloing is generally an unlistenable vomit of notes. It’s sad to see someone who started off as a real innovator become so one-dimensional, stale and creatively lazy for the bulk of his career.
Jim E James recently posted: Making good practice choices
I’ve been waiting to see what kind of comments you’d get on this, because I thought it would be a controversial topic too. As it turns out, maybe your readers all agree with you.
I saw “It Might Get Loud” and although I find Jack White a very entertaining character, especially contrasted to the very wooden Edge, I did think the selection of those two next to Jimmy Page was strange. Does Edge represent the vanguard of 80s guitar, and White the 90s? The jam sessions in that documentary were really awkward. It would have been cooler to see Page jam with some true peers (Petrucci certainly comes to mind).
I think the term “Guitar Gods” is more of a marketing/retail thing. It has little to do with chops and more to do with whose face sells more magazines and instruments/gear to kids.
@Neal – sorry, brother.
I just don’t get Zakk at all. I can understand the presence thing, but as far as playing goes he didn’t do a thing for me.
@Jim – I think he tried too hard to be like Dimebag. Dime was a true innovator, in my opinion. Zakk just didn’t have what it takes.
@CP – Guitar Gods is definitely a marketing thing, which pisses me off even more. It’s like calling someone who survived a car crash a true warrior. What? But then again, I’m not a Page fan, either. I never really got into Zep at all. Call me a true product of 80s and 90s metal I guess.
You’re 100% right on Zakk. He’s name should actually be Suck. He’s just a shredder with no soul.
These people are no guitar god and they don’t deserve any worship.
I don’t really buy the idea of Zakk as a Dime clone. Zakk first went into the recording studio with Ozzy in ’88. He’d probably never heard of Pantera back then, and even if he had.. well.. Dimebag Darrell was still ‘Diamond’ Darrell back then and was still writing songs like “Rock the World”
Jim E James recently posted: Guitarist Trivia – Eddie Van Halen
I guess I don’t think Zakk is necessarily a Dime clone, but he certainly trades on Dime’s name an awful lot. In reality, he couldn’t tune Dime’s strings!
OK, I’m going to put my neck out here and say what I’ve always wanted to say.
I really don’t get why Buckethead is so popular.
What’s up with that guy? His playing. It’s mindless, I can’t find any soul in it no matter how hard I try. To me it just sounds like the guy goes up and down a scale as fast as possible.
Willem recently posted: 3 Time Proven Ways to Stick to your Practice Routine
I never really heard much of his stuff, Willem, but of what I’ve heard I agree with you. Thanks for chiming in!
I think with Zakk you’ve got to keep in mind that he has been a “fairly” hardcore drinker (alcoholic?) for the majority of his career. Maybe now that he’s off the sauce we’ll see more innovative playing from him.
The new album is good…just sayin’
Neal recently posted: Review – Music Man John Petrucci BFR Dargie Delight 2
I hear what you’re saying, Neal, but sauce or no sauce I don’t think he’s that good. Perhaps my opinion will change in hearing more of his latest stuff, but for now he sits in my “no thanks” pile.