In 1992 I quit playing guitar. I was so frustrated with my playing and not being able to pull off what I wanted to play that I thought it better to just hang it up for good and find another hobby. Anything had to be better than picking up the guitar for five minutes, being thoroughly disgusted, and putting it back in the closet. There is a whole world of things to do out there, so why continue to bang my head against the wall when I could be doing something more fun?
John Petrucci - Dream Theater
For a long time I blamed Dream Theater‘s guitarist John Petrucci for making me quit. Yes, that’s right, I said MADE. I could not justify in my head why he was able to play something as beautiful as the solo on Under a Glass Moon and I not only couldn’t come up with something just as cool, but I couldn’t even cop his solo! At the time it seemed perfectly justified to blame him for my woes. In high school and college I was the shit; everyone thought I was a great player, and I knew that I was – to the point of major arrogance. Along comes this guitarist in a progressive metal band (my cup of tea) and completely shatters all of my confidence. I wanted to be a professional musician, but how could I with that guy around? In essence, he had taken all the fun and glory away from me and it pissed me off.
Now, granted, especially to the outsider you’re probably thinking I’m absolutely nuts for this line of thinking. To that I say, “yeah, you’re right. I was crazy.” Bear with me, please, I’ll try to work this back and save my reputation.
So, I stopped playing. For 7 or 8 years. I just couldn’t pick the guitar up. I had lost all of my confidence, my creativity, and my passion. I couldn’t write a song if you gave me the chords to do it with. I had no fire.
The Epiphany
I don’t exactly remember what the turning point for my return to guitar was. I don’t think there was one specific “a ha” moment that turned things around for me. As I look back on it now I got my sanity back and realized that I didn’t have to be as good as Petrucci. Only Petrucci is as good as Petrucci. There are millions of guitarists out there who are not Petrucci (or Benson, or Martino, or Segovia, or Satriani) and are doing what they love – playing guitar. And that’s when it hit me; it’s not about being a great player, it’s about playing guitar simply because I loved to play guitar! Well holy shit! As soon as I said that to myself it all became so brilliantly clear (and obvious) that I almost got depressed that I had wasted so many years for all the wrong reasons.
The Greatest Band Ever!
A New Goal
And so I began to play again, this time with a new goal: HAVE FUN! I was able to pick up the guitar and play without a specific target to focus on. I learned a few songs, wrote a few riffs, and starting learning jazz. Most importantly, I stopped giving a crap about any silly competition I had in my own mind. Certainly Petrucci didn’t care what I was up to. I had exorcised that demon once and for all and was as happy as I was the first day I jammed along to 2112 by Rush (the greatest band ever, by the way…).
It’s been a great journey ever since. I started up lessons with my guitar teacher again, I was learning jazz and transcribing solos, I was writing songs with friends, and I was experimenting with different styles of music. Everything was new to me again, it all sounded so fresh and exciting. I was back, baby!
Someone Up There is Testing Me!
Last night I started learning to play Andy McKee‘s beautiful song Rylynn. I’ve never attempted to play this type of fingerstyle guitar before, so I thought it would be a fun challenge to see how it’s played and whether or not I can learn it. To say it’s not a song you just pick up and start jamming would be a massive understatement. Within a few minutes I was struggling pretty bad to get it under my fingers. I had a small crisis of faith, wondering if I would ever be able to learn this song and play it. I immediately stepped back and thought about it for a minute; was it about playing the song so I could play the song, or was it about playing guitar? Once I thought about it in those terms I went right back to learning Rylynn and actually making better progress than the first few minutes. My mindset had changed, my focus had increased, and most importantly I was an engaged, passionate guitar player rather than a mindless wannabe.
Can You Pass Your Own Test?
If you are having a crisis of faith with your playing – or anything in your life for that matter – my advice to you is this: don’t worry about it so much; enjoy the moment of creating and being able to express yourself through your instrument. Maybe you or I won’t be the next guitar god. Perhaps the most you or I will make of our “music careers” is the occasional bar gig and playing Beatles covers on an acoustic at a friend’s party. Is that such a bad thing? I don’t think so. In fact, what could be better than opening up your heart and soul to those closest to you? Nothing.
Keep Going!
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I remember plenty of times when I wanted to throw my guitar out the window when I was learning. You get so far and learn the basics and it’s hard to get to the next level. My advice would be to keep going, find a great teacher and practice heaps. Playing guitar rocks.
I totally agree with that, Scotty! Thanks for chiming in.
Going through exactly this at the moment!!! wish me luck
Good luck, Graham! You will get to the other end of the tunnel, it just may take some time.
I gave up, for the same reason that I wanted to be great guitar player. I was so blinded by that goal that I even stopped enjoying playing guitar. Your article gave me a whole new perspective about playing guitar I hope I am able to make myself understand thats its about enjoying guitar not just becoming better player.
Thanx josh
Glad it resonated with you. I was in the same exact boat as you, so it is possible. Just remember that it’s about the joy of playing, not the pursuit of becoming something.
I quit today because of this.
http://fretterverse.com/2010/05/03/kapsalis-and-ivanovic-guitar-duo/#more-1404
hahahaha, it’s okay. You’ll be alright. Just flip it around in your head and use it for inspiration instead of frustration.
(But I know exactly what you mean.
)
Josh,
I came across your post my chance while surfing the internet. I am a violinist. I am in the hitting my head against the wall phase where I can’t make myself practice because I will “never bee good enough”. Your insight that music is supposed to be fun is a nice reminder. Here’s to making music fun again. Thank you for putting your experiences out there for others to find.
Anna, you are most welcome. I still struggle with it a lot; feeling like I’ll never be as good as I would like. But, it’s about the “now” and not about the “maybe someday.” Just keep remembering that and play/practice because you love to play.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with my guitar teacher once. I think he was trying to build my confidence some, while still keeping me grounded, and trying to encourage me to get out and play other than my dorm room. “There are plenty of guitars, who are making lots of money at it, that you’re way better than! Of course, there are also lots of guitarists that totally blow you out of the water.” I lamented to him, “Yeah, but the problem is I pretty much only ever listen to the ones in the latter group.”
Dear Josh,
I have the exact same problem you have. If i start something i want to be the best at that, its perhaps an ego issue i really dont know, everything i like turns into a race to be the best.
Im buying a guitar tommorow, i have set everything…
But here is my problem, everyone around me including close friends and family say im going to quit.. I really want to start the path of the guitar but now im having 2nd thoughts, being discouraged asking myself what if i quit :<
After reading this i got my courage back again i will buy it no matter what and remind myself of this post of yours if i ever wish to quit.
Thanks sincerely for sharing your life exprience here
Rock on
)
..It’s not about being a great player, it’s about playing guitar simply because I loved to play guitar!..
Josh you’ve written candidly about a sore-spot topic for many guitarists, a large number of whom did not make it past that hard phase. It one of the toughest battles for a guitar player, in fact any artist: aspiration vs. enjoyment. And it’s not an easy balance.
On the other hand I have met players who have higher aspirations but pretend to be satisfied with their current skill-level. This is nearly as bad as putting down the guitar since that type of player’s focus is constantly on lackage, rather than enjoyment.
The bottom line, I think, is that sometimes fun itself has to be learned.
Daniel Fretland recently posted: Be Yourself
Eddie Van Halen was asked who is the greatest guitar player ever and he answered, Allan Holdsworth. Jimi Hendrix was asked what’s it like to be the greatest guitar player in the world and he answered, why don’t you ask Julian Bream? It doesn’t matter how great or influential a guitarist is there are always ten guys who are better. Many times I’ve met guitarists and suggested we get together and jam when they replied no because they hate to play with someone better than they are. What bull! Unless someone just picked up the instrument for the first time a week ago I can probably learn something from them. Thanks for reminding us to ignore the competition and just play for fun!
SuperDestroyer recently posted: An Inspiration- Look- See…
Thanks for the excellent post and the motivation to keep going. I’ve always struggled with my guitar playing and one of the main reasons is because I haven’t stuck with it!
It’s too easy to compare yourself with those who are/were gifted and come up second best. As you say it’s all about creating in your own way.
JC from learn to guitar recently posted: Learn How to Play Guitar
Thanks for providing me such valuable info about guitars. I have been a guitar fan and player myself. Will check out more myself.
Wow I really can’t imagine feeling like this! Hope this will never happen to me!
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